8:47 AM.
Many varieties of people were waiting outside Quiapo Church for their rides to their destinations. Some of them were working while some were still studying. It was still a little early, so it wasn’t all that hot. Though there was this one girl who just didn’t fit in with the crowd. As everyone looked happy and excited to start their day, she wore a blank expression on her face; it seemed like she was daydreaming. Her school uniform indicated she was in college but her neatly ponytailed black hair, her very erect stand, her hidden diamond ring on her left hand finger and her very appearance showed a different story. Suddenly, she got back on Earth and saw the jeep that had her route, but it didn’t stop. And the story begins.
“Para!” barely shouted by the girl, running late in attending her 9:00 AM class. She hated being late, even for being early. Sighing, the public vehicle stopped and waited for her to get in. She didn’t smile, as she usually doesn’t, and just went on with life.
As she hopped on the jeepney, she surveyed where she would be comfortable seating. The jeepney wasn’t as full as most jeepneys she always rode were, so she had time to think it through. For less than three seconds, she thought about the place affected by the most wind that would potentially ruin her already done hair, the place where the seat is a bit disoriented, the side of the jeepney where she would have a better view of the outside to tell if she’d approached her location, and the probability of a certain place in the vehicle would people would always be looking. The right side back was the most suitable place for her, but to her dismay, someone was already seated there.
She never really liked sitting beside people; she just did because she had to. But now that she had all the space she needed, she could get away from them. Still bothered by her bad luck, she chose to sit at the left side of the back area, hoping that this guy wouldn’t notice her or her disappointment. To her shock, this guy wasn’t much of a stranger as she thought he was.
Slowly sitting opposite to him, she took her time looking at the man she once fell for. His eyes were closed, which bought her time to examine him. After six years of being apart, her heart still throbbed the same way as it did back in the day. He didn’t change much: his hair was still in a messy order, he still wore his lucky watch, a trucker hat was still attached to his favorite backpack, and he still had his retro headphones on his ears. Though, this time he had a little facial hair and wore eyeglasses. Her breathing got heavier every time she would take a glance at him until he suddenly opened his eyes, which literally stopped her breathing for a while.
Listening to his Arctic Monkeys CD, he opened his eyes to the lines “The best you ever had… is just a memory and those dreams.” He scratched his head, annoyed by the said lyrics. But, he still didn’t change the track, the heat of the sun made him lazy. Being away from the country for a long time, he forgot how hot it was in Quiapo, especially in the area he was in. He placed his elbows on his knees, getting a better view of the road. He laughed silently at the scene of street children playing with their tops by the opening of the underpass. They looked very happy, very much opposite of how he felt. He took his handkerchief from his back pocket, wiping his sweat on his forehead.
Using her peripheral vision, she observed if the guy could tell who she was. To her relief, he was looking outside. She held her shoulder bag tight on her lap while thinking of ways on how to avoid his attention. The jeepney still not moving away from Quiapo is also a problem. Knowing that she would cause a scene at anything she would do, she just stopped thinking about it, turned on the IPod Shuffle clipped on her skirt and plugged her earphones.
Best Coast serenaded her with their track “When I’m with You”. She blinked a few times, contemplating about how much she was influenced by his taste in music. He was very interested in different kinds of music, as long as it wasn’t hardcore rock or the likes. He particularly liked the songs that had sentimental or somewhat romantic lyrics, topped with an electronic feel. This track kept her spirits composed with its intro: the world is lazy, like you and me; we’re just crazy… so when I’m with you, I have fun…
The music calmed her down and helped her relax a little. She let herself close her eyes and get her into that small room in her head where everything’s fine. It took about two short minutes until her silence was broken.
“Miss, nagbayad ka na ba? Saan ka bababa?” said the impatient driver.
She thought about ignoring the driver, but it was no use. She opened her eyes and saw his eyes fixed on her. She licked her lips in anxiety and opened her bag to find her purse. It became a struggle for her as couldn’t focus on looking for it when he’s still looking at her. Still not knowing if he does recognize her, she moved herself closer to the driver to give him to money.
“Ma, Round Table, estudyante.”
Sighing, she turned her attention to the guy again. This time around, he was sitting at the left side, smiling as he offered the seat he was previously occupying. For the first time in months, the girl curved her lips into a smile so subtle; its slow formation was anticipated.
“Thanks for the seat,” she said, noticing him looking at her hand with an odd expression on his face.
Oh shit, she thought. He’s going to ask about the ring. She never really told anyone about her engagement, since it was a fixed marriage. She didn’t know what to say to most people because most probably, it would cause a moment of people asking her questions and putting her in the ‘Hot Seat’, a spot she never really quite liked. She avoided his looks at her as she tried to hide her hand, but it was too late.
“Is that a ring on your finger?” he asked, suddenly pulling off his headphones and turning of his CD player in his backpack. He stared at her; reaching for her left hand to look at the said ring. “Wow. A diamond ring. Who’s the lucky bastard?”
“I don’t know what you’re saying about lucky, James. Besides, it’s not like you actually care,” she smirked jokingly. “How are you? God, how long has it been, six years?”
Six years. He thought to himself, wondering about how he spent his last six years away from her, from everything. He had a moment of silence, letting the thought sink in that it had been really six years since they last saw each other; six years of travelling everywhere to forget about her, six years of trying to move on. He shook his head, chuckling about the irony of his situation.
Six years. She thought to herself, looking back on how she convinced herself into her current ‘relationship’ with her fiancé and how she worked hard to finish her BS Chemistry Degree in UST and to start her BS Medicine Degree in PLM. Her eyes fell to her shoes as an awkward silence fell on the two of them. As she looked back at him, he sighed and smiled at her again, continuing the conversation.
“Yup, six years. And look at you, turns out you’re living your dream. How’s Med School? Is it really difficult, future Dr. Hannah Vasquez?” He placed his hand on the bar above him, still looking back and forth into her eyes and to the ring.
“Well, of course it is, silly! I mean, nothing is ever easy, isn’t it?” She giggled nervously. Uncomfortable of his eyes on her ring, she placed the diamond within her fist. “You didn’t answer my question though. I asked how you were.”
“It’s been a little rough, to be honest. As you said, nothing’s ever easy.” He looked outside as the jeepney finally ran towards the Quezon Bridge. “And you?”
“Things weren’t very smooth for me either. I mean, ever since…” She faintly placed her free hand on her lips, regretting how she almost mentioned the night they ‘broke up’.
He looked back at her, trying to figure out why she stopped talking. He tried to smile at her to encourage her to continue, but his lips wouldn’t let him at that point in time. She placed her hands on her Secosana bag, grabbing on to the pins with the lines “Medisina” and “Love = Hormones x Chemical Reactions +Impaired Neurons” on the front. He looked at it, noticing how she smirked at the pins. Immediately, they both laughed silently at each other, finally breaking out of the charade that they were both ok. They thought they could act they were fine, but they weren’t.
Regaining her line of thought, she smiled at him and just continued, “I just try my hardest to be a good daughter to my parents. You understand that, right?”
Another awkward silenced caressed them as the jeepney stopped at the red light. Hannah was almost at her destination but she didn’t care anymore. She forgot about how late she was for her first period class, none of them mattered then. James brushed his hand through his hair as he too didn’t want to leave that moment until they both get what they need from this situation: closure. They never had a proper one, as they parted ways so suddenly. Passing by the big KKK monument near SM City Manila, they both reminisced how they first bumped into each other, looking at the front spot of the jeep where they first sat together. Separately, though simultaneously, they heard their voices conversing that one fateful day they met.
“Excuse me, ito po ba yung sakayan papuntang Robinson’s Manila?” a sweet voice asked to the jeepney driver.
“Oo, sakay ka na Miss, malapit na umalis,” a young handsome voice replied. “Hop on.”
“Hi, I’m Hannah. Ikaw? What’s your name?” he really wasn’t in the mood to talk to a stranger, but she smiled at him so brightly, he couldn’t resist answering her.
“The name’s James. You shouldn’t be talking to strangers, you know. You never know, I might be a bad person that will take advantage of you.” He said seriously, passing his payment to the driver beside him.
“I know, but I don’t have any friends here in Manila yet. I guess when I saw you and you told me to hop on, I don’t know, I felt like you’re a nice guy,” she chuckled. “Besides, inglesero ka, meaning you’re an educated guy. I haven’t seen hold-up-ers speaking in English.”
Both laughed for a while, thinking about a hold-up scenario with an English dialouge.
“You have a great sense of humor for a fourth year high school student. How old are you, 16?” he said, noticing her school uniform.
“15. Yeah, I got it from my parents. We’re really close.”
“Good for you. Not many people are close to their parents.”
After a few blocks, Hannah grinned to herself and looked at James, excited.
“I have a great idea!” she tapped his shoulder for him to look at her. He gave her a questioning face. “Let’s be friends. I mean, you’re the first person I met as a stranger, in a jeep pa. This is going to be fun.”
“But, I’m too old to be your friend. I’m already 18. Do you really want to be friends with me? Hala ka, baka hindi tayo magkasundo.” He said jokingly.
“Ano ka ba? We’ll be fine. I mean, we’ll see!”
“Ok,” he replied after a few seconds. “We can do that. Friends?” he held his left hand. She immediately took it and shook hands.
“Things have changed a lot since then.” She looked at her ring, holding its rock with her fingers, trying to figure out how they went downhill.
“Yeah, it did.” He looked her, clinging on to his desire of concrete closure. “But, that’s how life rolls, you know?”
“Pero, some things never change,” smiling at the thought, “you’re always right pa rin!” she laughed, knowing the next words she would hear would be some that she will never forget; some that she had wanted to hear long time ago..
He took a deep breath and fixed his eyes on her. He noticed she had really grown into a beautiful young woman, who can handle herself with or without the aid of a man. He ran his hand through his hair again, trying to find the right words that would practically end the bitterness in his and her heart. He looked outside; they were approaching her destination. He glanced at her and sighed.
“Well, this is my stop. It was nice seeing you again, James. Say hi to Mrs. Lardizaval for me,” the dismay in her voice was evident, “don’t worry, whatever happened in the past, it’s done. I mean, we can still be friends, right? Maybe, I could find you Facebook sometime and we could…”
“That night, I got afraid about our future together and I just wanted you to be happy. But, I couldn’t make you happy with my family around and you know how much they needed me. Leaving you was the only way for me to ensure it that you’ll be happier. So, that’s what I did. I never got to say goodbye properly because if I did, I might change my mind about leaving you. Ok?” he placed his hands on hers, feeling the need to have more time with her. “We could never be. You know that, right?”
“I know that. I just thought you’d have the guts to say it to my face back then. You know how much it hurt, leaving me with just a single note of… ‘I’m leaving’? Ang sakit-sakit niya. I could never forget the way I felt then.”
Trying her best not to shed a tear, she took her hands from his and placed it by her cheeks. His eyes traveled from her ring to her neck, seeing that the necklace he gave her wasn’t there. She looked back at him, looking at his eyes filled with pools of dark brown emotions.
“I just wished you could’ve called. I mean, what you did what was fine. I understand. But when you didn’t say goodbye, I felt you left me hanging. It’s like; I didn’t know if I should be waiting for you or what.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t have the strength to show up and properly end things. But, for what it’s worth, I just wanna tell you that I never lived a day without regretting what I did. I know it’s too late, so maybe we could start over, as friends?”
He held out his hand, the same way he did the first time the met. She wiped a tear from her cheek and shook his hand. They giggled at the scene, just as they did the first time. She sniffed, pulling the hair that escaped her ponytail to the back of her ear. He put his handkerchief back to his back pocket, smirking at the scene the two of them just made.
9:15 am
She looked at her watch, he did the same. The jeepney was turning to the triangle block in the middle of the round table. As the vehicle stopped by the street vendors, she let out a quick breath and smiled.
“Well, this is my stop. I hope when we see each other again…”
“It’s not in a jeep?” he said jokingly.
“Oo,” laughing at his random joke, “and I hope you’ll be happy to accept my invitation to my wedding.”
“Promise, I’ll try my best to be erm.. glad with your marriage. Just tell me when and where, I’ll be there.” He took a final glance at her as she went down the vehicle, “Hey! Dadalhan pa kita ng paboritong mong pet to practice for parenting!”
As the jeep drove slowly away from the spot, she looked back at him, walking to the sidewalk of the road. She waved goodbye he sat back on his seat, placing his headphones back on.
They didn’t know if it was closure, but they definitely learned one thing; they had a love story worth remembering. It felt right, all of it. They were just destined to be just friends after all.
- Molly Roxas.
